it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize