ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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