So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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