I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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