the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize