Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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