My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
