Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
