I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
