Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
