Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
