okay pat passed out under dana's car
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So squirting runs in the family.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
