What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
