So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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