So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he puts the penis in happiness.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
