just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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