We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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