This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
