So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
