found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
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She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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