Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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