Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
