Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
