worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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