i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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