This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize