I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
