I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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