just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize