i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
