And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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