ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize