once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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