we're chasing vodka with high fives
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
