If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
