Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
its liver damage thursday
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