Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
