It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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