All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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