Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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