how hairy? two words: wookie tits
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
