Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
is wine microwaveable?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
