I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i dont even know how to be here
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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