Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
