For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
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She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
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You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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