i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it's like iHOP with fire
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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