John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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