remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
