my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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