i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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