Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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