Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
