It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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