erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".