Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he was CRYING into my vagina
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
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I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.