I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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