I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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