is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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