Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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